Having high self-esteem means:

• liking yourself and feeling good about the way you are
• realising you're a worthwhile, competent and likeable person
• having the confidence to try new challenges
• feeling you can achieve the things you set out to do
• not being afraid to keep on trying if you get things wrong or fail occasionally
• feeling confident and optimistic about the future

Having low self-esteem can make life much more difficult. If you don't have the confidence to try new challenges or if you feel people don't like you, it can have devastating effects. Helping your toddler build the inner strength to cope with life's ups and downs as they grow is one of your most important tasks as a parent. So, it makes sense to do all you can to build your toddler's confidence.

Developing self-esteem

Toddlers are still just realising they're separate people. As your toddler grows and develops, they'll begin to learn who they are and will have more understanding about themself. Toddlers slowly build up a picture of themselves and a sense of self. This happens gradually as your toddler learns what they look like and work out the things they can do. Some of the more difficult types of behaviour your toddler might display - which you may find hard to cope with - happen as a result of them beginning to realise they're a separate person with a mind of their own. They've also learnt they don't actually have to stay where you've put them or do exactly as they're told. To begin with, a toddler's view of themself is still very much a reflection of what other people seem to think of them. Therefore, it's important for their developing self-esteem that they're exposed to mainly positive views.

This means:

• Telling your toddler, as often as possible, that you love them and that they're marvellous, wonderful and fun to be with.
• Letting your toddler know you love them by showing affection with lots of hugs, kisses and kind words.
• Never say things such as "You're so stupid" or "I'd wish you'd never been born!"

Doing all the above, will help in developing self-esteem in your toddler

Nothing is more damaging to your toddler's developing self-esteem than a message from you that they're not loved, liked or wanted. It's important not to use sarcastic, unkind words or a harsh tone of voice when speaking with them. They'll believe what you tell them and if your message is that they're irritating, it'll have a negative impact on their self-esteem. If you're feeling angry, never say things such as "You're so stupid" or "I'd wish you'd never been born!"

Remember:

• Show love - tell your toddler, as often as possible, that you love them. Show affection every day.
• Chat - talking together gives the message that you enjoy your toddlers company.
• Listen - show your toddler you find them interesting and worth listening to.
• Play - join in your toddler's games or if you have household chores to do, ask them to help. Including your toddler shows you enjoy spending time with them.
• Praise - not just for succeeding, but for efforts and attempts too. Even if your toddler doesn't manage to do exactly what they set out to do, saying things such as "That was a really great try" will encourage them to have another go. It's amazing how far this alone will go in building your childs self esteem.
• Encourage - managing buttons or putting on their own clothes gives a great boost to self-esteem. Take it slowly so your toddler feels proud of what they've managed to achieve, and be ready to step in if they get into difficulties and gets too frustrated. But don't solve every problem - help them feel they can manage.
• Provide choices - help your toddler feel they can exert some control over the world. You might ask your toddler to choose their own clothes or offer a choice of shoes, for example.
• Stay one step ahead - try to avert disasters that can lead to loss of confidence, tempers and tears. Be aware that the over-confidence shown by some toddlers can falter quite quickly if they constantly fail at all the things they try. You need to be ready to distract your toddler from anything too complicated, helping to prevent too many upsets.
• Emphasise good points - concentrate on the positives and try to ignore any annoying behaviour as much as possible.
• Provide plenty of activities - trying out lots of things makes it more likely you'll find something your toddler is good at, even if there are lots of other things they can't manage so well yet. Some children are great swimmers, for example, while others solve problems easily.
• Encourage friendships - being able to make friends and get on with others plays a big role in building self-esteem. Take an interest and, if possible, invite your toddlers friends round to play.
• Celebrate family life - morning chats in bed or particular ways of saying goodnight not only celebrate family life, but also help your toddler understand that they have a special place within it.

1. Toddlers
2. Typical Behaviour in a toddler
3. Toilet Training a toddler
4. from toddlers to Terrible 2's and 3's
5. Toddler Tantrums
6. Strange Behaviour in toddlers
7. Toddlers with Sleep Problems
8. Sibling Rivalry
9. Saying No! to toddlers
10. Toddlers gifted children
11. Toddler Discipline
12. Toddlers Crying and Whinging
13. Toddler Development Stages